Lost In Translation
by teh-fargs
Summary: The mind can be a difficult place to enter and even harder to leave. SmoAce. Ace spoilers.
1. Tears

Title: Lost In Translation  
Pairing: Smoker/Ace  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, Oda-sama does  
Notes: An attempt at an angst drabble. Published solely on the peanut butter comment. No joke. Oh yeah. Spoiler alert for the whole thing on Ace.

"Sir."

Smoker can tell she's crying even before the door opens, but that tear-stained crack in her voice, the quiver against his title... Smoker looks up and frowns. "What?"

Tashigi lowers her head and offers him the newspaper. He takes it, still watching her shaking frame as he does. Finally casting his eyes down, he can feel his own body start to freeze.

_Fire Fist Ace finally caught! Hanging in the near future, Marine insider says._

Smoker skims the article quickly, certain fragments catching at the back of his throat – things like 'murderer' and 'August 23rd' and 'peanut butter' from the title of the article below because Ace always found a way to stash some of it in his backpack and tasted like the stuff more often than not – before setting the paper onto his desk.

"There's... there's a main article on... on... the... inside..." Tashigi has shed plenty of tears since the two of them were paired together all those years ago but rarely has Smoker seen her actually break down and openly cry before. It's more than a little unnerving. "I... please..."

Smoker stands and she falls down and they meet somewhere halfway. Smoker isn't sure what he's supposed to do, she certainly isn't expecting what Ace wants each time he latches onto the man with that stupid grin of his. So he holds her, arms wrapped around her back and chin resting in her hair. He feels her fingernails rake against his chest, fisting into a shirt that isn't there. Her shoulders shake and he wants to say something. He wants to squeeze the pain out of her and bring it onto himself because this is his fault – all of it is his to be blamed for.

He should have listened when Garp told him it was a bad idea. For a man of his age and rank, it was a childish thing to do, hoarding his treasure all to himself. Children are always told to share; it's one of the first lessons taught but Smoker had found himself something he wanted for himself and he hadn't felt the need to share it with anyone else. Ace was his. _His._

_But now look what you've done, Smoker you idiot. She's crying. Crying for you and you don't deserve it._

"Tashigi."

She looks up at the sound of her name and he wants to hug, kiss, hit – anything to make that expression go away.

"What are we going to do?"

Smoker doesn't like admitting anything to himself other than the fact that pirates are scum that need to be cleaned off the sole of society. His father had always said that.

"I don't know. Something."


	2. Walls

Ace isn't talking. He hasn't stopped staring at the wall since Smoker brought him on board.

"I'm worried about him," Tashigi says quietly for the tenth time that day as she brings a tray of coffee over to desk and looks over to the man in question. "This isn't healthy."

"He's going through shock," Smoker says forcefully, telling himself that's all there is to it, he'll be annoying everyone in a few days.

He's been saying that for a week, now.

---

"Please talk to him."

Smoker frowns when Tashigi stares up at him with more conviction then he's seen her use in a long time. He wants to know if she thinks that'll actually do any good so he bites his tongue and lets her continue.

"Smoker-taisa, you're closest to Ace san out of everyone. I think that if he's going to open up to anyone, it will be to you. You've barely spoken to him since he boarded the ship, and I saw what Impel Down is like." Tashigi lowers her head, eyes masked by her bangs. "I have an idea what he's been through, Sir. He needs you."

Smoker continues to frown at her and shoves away the concern seeping through his features. It's not as if he doesn't already know this; he was the one guiding Tashigi through that hell hole to retrieve the damn pirate. He knows too well the stinging pressure of miles of sea water squeezing your veins. Devil fruit users can barely breathe on the deepest levels where Ace was calling his home, and Smoker can remember the feeling, even now. He wants to shout at the brat, to hold him and smack that ruthless grin back into place. He just isn't sure how.

Ace was always the one following him around, hanging off him, starting things. He had been the one to drag Smoker off his high horse and down towards the bedroom and he still always is. Even if Smoker feels as if he'll lose his grip on reality if he doesn't find the pirate brat soon, feel ebony hair against his neck, run calloused hands over tan skin, Ace always finds him first.

Tashigi doesn't seem to understand that Smoker has been struggling with himself ever since Ace was left in their care, searching for words gentle enough as not to hurt the boy even more than he already has been. Everything that comes to mind is too rough and even when he thinks he knows what to say, his tongue trips up and it comes out all wrong. Smoker isn't the sentimental kind in any means of the word and he isn't sure if he's even able to save Ace the one time he really needs him.

"Please?" Tashigi asks, taking his silence as annoyance with the subject. "Whatever you feel, I know Ace loves you, Sir. You'll be good for him."

When Tashigi looks away again, Smoker is sure she's thinking of their first encounter. "If it hurts you, stop thinking of it. The past isn't what makes you stronger."

Tashigi looks up again, this time smiling, and Smoker could never say no to her.

"All right."

"Thank you, Smoker-taisa!"

---

"Oi, Brat," Smoker says but his voice isn't cut with malice. It's just a nickname for the kid and nothing more. "Stop staring at the wall."

Ace shakes his head. "No. I know."

Smoker hesitates. "What?"

Ace smiles blankly and intensifies his gaze, fingers brushing gently across the wall in front of him. "Smoker's room doesn't have this mark. There's a different one here. I left it there on his birthday."

Smoker watches silently as Ace finally turns to look at him but it isn't the boy he knows; Ace's eyes are bland and dull, empty and void of any of the love and warmth Smoker has grown to expect. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Ace smiles again but it never reaches his eyes. "You can't fool me anymore, Mario. I know this is just another hallucination. I know this isn't real so you can stop looking like that already."

Smoker's frown deepens and he thinks back to the other pirates that had been with Ace on his floor back at that horrid prison. Mario? He was a devil fruit user as well, one of the darker personalities with a twisted power. Once you catch his eye he can twist your vision to see anything he wants you to see. Although it only works for one person at a time, many captains have been known to murder their own crews from Mario's hallucinations.

"That's what this is about?" Smoker asks, almost to himself. He frowns. "Portgas, you aren't hallucinating. Whatever occurred within Impel is over. You're currently aboard my ship so snap out if it, you worthless brat."

Ace smiles faintly again. "You got the walls wrong again. I keep telling you you've got the walls wrong."

"You're been gone for months," Smoker said. "Things change."

"People change," Ace corrected him. "Walls don't."

"Screw the walls!" Smoker barks and is taken aback when Ace actually flinches. "You..."

"Things don't lie," Ace says quietly. "People do."

"I'm not lying," Smoker says, hoping he sounds as honest as he's trying to be. "Tashigi spilt coffee everywhere and it stained so the room was repainted. That crack is new."

"Did Tashigi do it?"

"Yes."

"Liar!" Ace suddenly shouts and its Smoker's turn to flinch, surprised at the pure malice in the boy's voice. "Before I left she was doing so much better at not tripping! Her balance was much better than it ever was! You have no right to bring her into this, someone you don't even know!"

Smoker frowns again and looks down at Ace with annoyance. "Did you think your arrest affected only you alone?"

Ace's eyes widen. "Wh-! Stop! Shut up! You're not real! You're not real! Get out of my head!"

Smoker has run out of ideas so he does what has to be the most natural thing for Ace to feel. Walking over, he drags Ace up by his elbow and kisses him roughly. Ace punches him in return. Smoker grunts but doesn't let go, pushing the boy onto the bed behind him. Ace bites his tongue and Smoker pulls back with a growl. "Brat. Stop that."

Ace's eyes are shining with defiance. "No."

Smoker sighs heavily. "You're not hallucinating. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I'm not falling for that again," Ace spat. "Fuck someone else."

Smoker hesitates. "You... He..."

Ace frowns and watches the man above him carefully, bracing for an attack. When the sudden movement occurs it isn't what he's expecting.

Smoker grabs Ace's arms and shakes him roughly. "What the hell did that bastard do to you?"

Ace stares in shock and can't find the will to speak.

Smoker hasn't been this angry in a long time but the rage building up inside him is unmistakable. To think that this brat – _his_ brat – was used like that... "Unforgivable."

Ace watches in surprise and, hesitantly, reaches up to trace as finger down the side of Smoker's face, feeling the man's stubble against his skin. "You..."

"Are you finally coming back down to reality?" Smoker asks.

"I... You... Is this..." Ace doesn't want to deal with another rejection. He can't. "This can't be... please... I..."

Smoker watches him, fingers still gripping Ace's arms. Still frowning, he pulls the pirate back into another kiss, slower this time with more patience, waiting for Ace to take the lead.

Eventually the boy does, arms falling over Smoker's shoulders and fingers digging into his hair. Flames erupt across his forearms but only smoke rises to meet the heat without a hint of burning flesh. Jerking back, Ace stares at Smoker in surprise. "It _is_ you..."

Smoker nods briefly before Ace knocks him over, falling against his chest and pinning him down.

"I missed you, Smoker-tan!"

"Shut up already!"


End file.
